I barely know you anymore.

How foolish we are when in love. I barely know myself anymore. I have turned from a hard-ass bitch to a soft egoless emotional girl. Maybe I am demanding, and he's hard to please. I don't like this. Not one bit of it. I love him and hate him at the same time. He knows that. He said he loves me, and he knows I don't believe it. And, he's going out with a girl-friend later this afternoon. An old friend, her birthday, he said. But, just the two of them. How'd you feel if you were me? Heck, of course I get jealous. Wtf? Some male friends have asked me out and I declined because I am seeing you, and you only. My time now is reserved only for work, family and you. But sadly I hardly ever exist in your daily agenda. It's always others. You and your various old 'girl friends'. How old? I am 23 fucking years old, with a childhood more colourful than the painting of Jackson Pollock's, have friends from all walks of lives, but I still fucking choose you over them! They say "Values are only measured by the importance it has to you", and I don't seem to be of much value to you. I'm procrastinating.